Thanksgiving

I am thankful for so many things in my life ... I don't understand why I still sometimes want what I can't have ... who actually ... and the crazy thing is that even if I did have him ... what would it matter because he doesn't know how to love ... :(
I have his son though ... Jonah will be six weeks old this Friday ... and he's so precious! I am very thankful for my three children, my grandson and my family ... and for the many wonderful friends I do have ...
Lord, please give me the strength to forgive so that I can just let go and move on ... I deserve so much more than him ...
Happy Thanksgiving to all ... :)

Pain

It has been a rough couple of years for me ... and my son. I am 8 months pregnant and after 4 years with my ex he decided he wanted nothing to do with me after I got pregnant. Last night he gave me some news that stole my last bit of hope that we'd ever make things work .... I have so much hurt inside ... want to forgive and let go ... give it all to God ... my tears are falling ...God please help me ...

Tears Will Dry ...

Today has been an AWFUL day! My eyes are swollen and my head hurts! I don't understand why my ex has to go out of his way to make me sad and put me down ... I think it's because he's unhappy with himself, but being 7 months pregnant with his son ... well ... it doesn't make me feel very good.

The ray of sunshine for today came, however, when I received an e-mail from Stacey. I had left a comment on her blog ... and she e-mailed me saying that I would be the recipient of the sock pattern she had just completed. Thank you Stacey!! :)

That made me smile. It really is the little things that can remind you that not everything is awful ... even when sometimes it seems that way ... I don't have to let "Him" define who I am ... it hurts ... but I will survive and I will succeed ...

Joy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4

It's difficult, at times, to remember that everything I'm going through is for a reason. Everything happens for a reason. We have choices ... but we will still have hard times, trials ... without them, we cannot grow ... I am thankful for these times ...

10 Things I Hope Happen Within the Next Year ...

I need to blog. Hopefully this will be a start ... slow as it may be.

10 Things I Hope Happen Within the Next Year Are:

1. Be happy again.
2. Do more things with my son Noah.
3. Have a healthy baby. (Hurry up October! LOL)
4. Start knitting again.
5. Laugh more ... again.
6. Learn to forgive.
7. Try to get back into selling AVON.
8. Re-discover myself.
9. Lose weight again (after I have the baby).
10. Blog more! ;)

That's a start ...