Crossroads

I have some decisions to make ... and none of them are going to be easy ... Please keep me in your prayers ...

I've actually been able to knit some ... for a while there I couldn't even do that ... Have just a couple more rows to knit on my second pair of Monkey socks ... Will post a pic when I can ... I was gonna keep this pair for myself ... but think I'm going to give them to my friend Samantha instead ...

The whole last year of my life has been so up and down ... I've lost a part of me ... a big part of my heart ... and I don't smile like I used to ... When you're on top of the world, so happy ... then you're knocked down ... Up and down, over and over ... you sorta forget to smile ... or laugh ... cuz it hurts to much to trust and try again ...

Quick Update

I finished my socks ... but the pic I took of them is not that great ... Then, to make matters worse ... the first time I wore them ... I left them on the couch when I went to bed ... When I work up the next morning ... one of the socks was gone! The cats must have taken off with it!!!! And I still haven't seen anything of it ... :( Don't even want to think about that ...

Anyhow ... I'm working on a pair of socks in the Monkey pattern. I'm doing mine toe-up on one circ, two at a time ... I'm really liking doing my socks like this!

I always started a blog for a knit-along for these socks. If you're interested, you can join here. Just leave a comment with your e-mail address, and I'll send an invite out to you as soon as I can ...

A New Year ...

Well ... it's a new year ... Huh ... Doesn't feel much different than the last one ... LOL ...

Anyhow ... I've been trying to do some more knitting ... but it's still been sorta rough ... have to force myself to knit sometimes ... I do have a pair of socks almost finished though ... And they're FOR ME!!!

Working on them has taken me through a lot these last couple months ... The death of one of my best friends in the world ... the end of a relationship that I thought was gonna last ...

And as I'm working down the foot towards the toes ... I'm doing a lot of thinking ... looking inside ... finding myself again ...

Cuz somewhere in the last six months or so especially ... I lost a big part of myself ... I won't go into this too much right now ... but slowly ... I'm trying to find that piece of my heart again ... the stronger person that I once was ...

I hope to get pics of the socks up as soon as I get them finished ... And then I plan to start another pair for me ... and also another pair for my son ... he hasn't had a pair for quite a while ... He outgrew his last ones ... and I'm sure these won't fit him for too long either ... LOL ... But as soon as I find a shade of blue that he can be content with ... I'll begin his socks that won't fit him long enough to be worn out ...

Christmas Day '06

I am trying really hard to be happy ... to be thankful for everything I have ... And I am thankful ... for my family, my kids ... my job, my friends ...

Still ... it's been a rough month ...

My best friend in the world passed away at the age of 67 ... She was a co-worker of mine ... but she was so much more than that ... She was a mom to me ... always had good advice to give ... maybe even a scolding every now and then ... lol ... And she was my best friend ... the one I told my secrets to ... We shared so much laughter ... so many tears ... and I've remembered her since her passing ... With much laughter and tears ...

I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to be close, to share the friendship we had ... And though I miss her ... I know she is in a better place ... and that we'll meet again someday ...

The other thing that's made this month so hard is the ups and downs of the relationship that I've been in ... It's been more than this month ... it's been going on for the past 5 months ... But now ... it may be over for good ... Not because I want it to be ... I DEFINITELY don't want it to be over ... I love him with all my heart ... But I can't make his choices for him ... All I can do is try to show him that I'm here for him ... Want to be here for him always ... Try to show him how much I love and care for him ... Respect him ... and PRAY!

But it hurts ... I want so much to be with him ... want him to be in my life forever ... by my side ... and me always by his ...

I know that everything in life happens for a reason ... and I know we don't always know what the reasons are ... I know that God has a plan for everyone, everything ... And I pray every day for the patience and the faith to keep believing ... keep moving on ... Some days it's just really hard ...

If you happen to read this ... and have a few extra minutes ... I'd appreciate any prayers you can say also ...

Hurting ...

Well ... I'm hoping that by writing here sometimes ... at least once in a while ... it will help me to get some of my feelings out ... help me sort through some things ... Don't really have anyone I can just go to, ya know?

I'm just so confused about the things that have happened over the last couple months ... I'm lonely ... but I don't deserve to be treated the way I have ... I know that much ...

I've just been asking God to hold me tightly in His arms ... and I know He is ... I know He knows every tear I've cried ... and I find comfort in that ...

I just feel like I've lost my happiness, though ... don't smile, laugh like I used to ... I know that change has to start with me ... and so I've been setting some goals for myself ... and I am trying really hard to look at things positively ...

Guess I just need a little time to grieve, too ... For the things I thought were there, that weren't ... for the person I thought was there, but wasn't ... and for the part of me that let myself be fooled ... even though I knew better ...

And I did know better ... I felt the pull at my heart telling me that know matter what I felt, my head knew something wasn't right ... I just wanted it so badly ...

Someday ... when the time is right ... I hope to find someone who really cares for me, appreciates me, respects me ... loves me ...

I Will Finish These Socks ...

My Jawalker socks WILL be completed by Feb. 13 ... even though I only have the toes done so far ... and am doing the socks toe-up ...

I don't have a pic yet of the new Jaywalkers, but will try to get one over the next couple days ... I'm still disgusted with the fact that my finished Jaywalker sock is pathetic!!!!

Jaywalker ... Part II

I am sooooo not happy with the way my first Jaywalker turned out .... :( Especially being that it was in the yarn that I've been wanting for my own pair of socks ... Maybe selfishness was the problem?

Here is a progress pic of the socks:





There will not, however, be a matching sock ...

I am still determined to make a pair of Jaywalkers by the February 14 deadline! I am definitely not a speed sock-knitter like some ... but I will finish my pair of Jaywalkers! I plan on starting them this afternoon, and will attempt them toe-up ...

Tagged ...

Well ... looks like I've been tagged by Lisa so .... here goes ...

Four jobs you have had in your life:
1. Accounting Clerk
2. Administrative Specialist
3. Eligibility Technician
4. Newspaper Production Aide

Four Movies you could watch over and over:
1. My Family/Mi Familia
2. Ever After
3. Armaggedon
4. American Me

Four Places You Have Lived:
1. Rochester, TX
2. Lamar, CO
3. Sterling, CO
4. Greeley, CO

Four TV Shows You Love To Watch:
1. Cowboy U
2. That 70's Show
3. Forensic Files
4. Cold Case Files

Four Places You Have Been On Vacation:
1. Washington
2. South Dakota
3. Georgia
4. Iowa

Four Websites You Visit Daily:
1. Painted Knits
2. Stitches of Violet
3. Sockbug
4. sunnybook's yarns

Four Of My Favorite Foods:
1. Fried Okra
2. Pumpkin Bars
3. Tres Leche Cake
4. Diet Dr. Pepper

Four Places You'd Rather Be Right Now:
1. a cozy yarn shop
2. knitting socks with Nancy Bush, Lucy Neatby or Cat Bordhi
3. knitting socks with Lisa (we WILL conquer your fear of heels one of these days ...)
4. with my soldier ...

And as for tagging other bloggers ... If you feel so inclined ... you are tagged ... :)

I took a couple pics of my Jaywalker socks the other day, just waiting to get them from my mom's camera ... Maybe today ... And I managed to actually finish the first sock yesterday ... All I have left is to graft the toe ...

I'm not sure I'm completely happy with the fit, but I am not frogging the sock ... I used the cuff-down toe from Queen Kahuna's book ... but because of the extra stitches in this sock, I think I increased too many gusset stitches ... And I didn't even increase all the stitches I was "supposed" to ... Next pair of Jaywalkers (cuz I'm thinking there probably will be one) I'll make some adjustments ...

Jaywalker Peer Pressure

I don't know if it's exactly peer pressure ... but it doesn't help when every other blog I see has a pic of their Jaywalker socks in progress ... or completed ... So I had to start my own pair ...

I had actually started before Christmas ... but then my Jaywalkers decided to jaywalk ... to who knows where ... Actually, they were found tucked in a corner of a bedroom at my mom's house ... At least they hadn't accidentally been tossed out with Christmas wrapping paper and packages ... WHEW!

Anyhow ... I don't have a pic yet, but will soon ... I'm knitting them up in Mountain Colors Bearfoot in the Thunderhead colorway ... Beautiful! I'd been saving this yarn to make some really comfy socks for me ... and these will be them!

Playing Catch-Up ...

Well, I finally got some pictures taken of some of the socks I knit ..

This is the Fidalgo Feet sock pattern knit up in Opal Uni-Solids #18. Unfortunately ... I only have one of the socks finished. The other one is half-way there ... but I knit these with a heel flap to carry the pattern down the heel ... and I HATE knitting heel flaps and picking up gusset stitches! I want new socks to wear, though ... so one day soon, I need to just finish the mate.




This is one of the pair I knit for my daughter. The pattern is Cascading Leaves from the Townsend Socks Knitalong ... Love this pattern! The yarn is some that I received in a bottle swap, and it was Kool-Aid dyed.




I know that these pics aren't great ... but I'm trying to just get back into posting again ...

And ... I have a confession to make ... I finally broke down and ordered some Woolie the Ram sock blockers from Chappy ... I had been wanting some for sooooo long! I hope to get them sometime this week ... Then I may have to do sock picture retakes ...

About Me ...

Thanks to Lisa ...
All the things you (N)ever wanted to know ...

TEN random things you might not know about me
1. I love Classic Country.
2. I was born and raised on a farm/ranch.
3. I love small-town living.
4. I am loyal to a fault and, therefore, get hurt easily.
5. I wouldn't change that for anything.
6. I like to write poetry, but until last week, hadn't written anything in years.
7. My biggest fear is the fear of rejection.
8. I am very stubborn.
9. I hate the heat! It is always easier to warm up than cool down.
10. I try to find the best in everyone.

NINE places I’ve visited
1. Georgia
2. Montana
3. Nebraska
4. Kansas
5. Washington
6. Oklahoma
7. Texas
8. Iowa
9. Puerta Vallarta, Mexico

EIGHT ways to win my heart
1. Be honest.
2. Respect me and my kids.
3. Make me laugh.
4. Accept my friends.
5. Understand me.
6. Love me unconditionally.
7. Make my dad smile.
8. Believe in God.

SEVEN things I want to do before I die
1. Visit the Opal yarn factory in Germany.
2. Go on a safari in Africa.
3. Be a good role model for my children.
4. Make sure that the people I love really know I love them.
5. Knit a sweater.
6. Be comfortable with myself.
7. Find true love.

SIX things I’m afraid of
1. Rejection.
2. Not making a difference.
3. Letting my kids down.
4. Letting my family down.
5. Letting my friends down.
6. Depression.

FIVE things I don't like
1. Onions.
2. Dishonesty.
3. Infidelity.
4. Shopping.
5. Society's view of "perfection."

FOUR ways to turn me off
1. Lie.
2. Think you are "all that."
3. Disrespect my family and/or friends.
4. Be prejudice.

THREE Things I do everyday
1. Pray.
2. Check my e-mail.
3. Hug my son and tell him I love him.

TWO things that make me happy
1. Knitting while watching a movie, with my son cuddled up beside me.
2. Making people smile.

ONE thing on my mind right now
1. Second chances ...

Guess who?!?!

Well ... I guess I was AWOL for quite some time ... I'll try to posting at least a little more often, but won't promise anything ... I hate to break promises ...

Still working on socks (of course) ... and just knit up and felted a little sheep from the Fiber Trends pattern this weekend.

If I can get my camera software to start working ... I'll try to post some pictures soon.

Isn't She ADORABLE!!!

To order your very own knitting bear,
Click Here! :)

passcode is "avon"

Item# is 049-360

Spearfish Sock

Finally! A picture of a FO! (Can one sock actually be considered an FO? ....)

Why Care?

I know that I have a really bad attitude right now, but sometimes I wonder why I should even care about people/things. You try to be there for someone when hardly anyone else is, and they just blow you off.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive, but I get tired of being walked on too, ya know?

I need to just try and remember that to the world I may be just one person ... but to one person I may be the world. I can make a difference.

It's just hard to remember when you're hurting ...

Blue Skies

Don't know why exactly, but I'm a little down today. I think it's cuz I'm at my office job. Go figure.

I want to send a big THANK YOU out to my Angel (SP4). I received a package from her last week that included a wonderful-smelling candle, a lovely windchime/suncatcher and two skeins of Lang Jawoll cotton. I have never tried this yarn before, but have been wanting, too. I want you to know just how much you brighten my days ...

Fixin' to go to lunch soon. Can't wait to get out of here for a while!

I Have An Announcement To Make ...

I'm soooo excited! My buddy Lisa is actually knitting socks! I think that's AWESOME! Please stop by her blog and give her your support! :) She's a great knitter, a magnificent painter, a wonderful mom and a super person all-around.

I had my first Quiet Places party last night. It was a little "rough around the edges," but overall -- a lot of fun. Just getting together with a group of girls to kick back and relax can be awesome. No kids, no worries, just friends and fellowship.

Then, to top the evening off, I logged on to my computer when I got home and read an e-mail my Secret Pal 4 had sent. It definitely reinforced my belief that I'm doing the right thing in working part-time at my "previously full-time" job, and pursuing my Avon and Quiet Places careers. Thank you very much, whoever you are ...

Update ...

I have got to start making blogging one of my priorities. I think it's good for me to get some thoughts out on "paper."

Well, pee-wee wrestling season has started again for us. This last Saturday was the first tournament, and Noah placed first. It's his third year of wrestling and he does really well. He's placed at every single tournament he's participated in, and has only gotten one 4th place. The rest have been 1st, 2nd or 3rd. Wrestling is probably my most-favorite sport, but the tournaments can be exhausting!

I'm still knitting away on socks. You know ... the mysterious ones that I never share pictures of! (I HAVE to rememdy that situation some day ....) I have about five pair I'm working on, but I also need to work up a couple pair of baby socks/booties.

I have several friends who are expecting soon, so I need to get my butt in gear. I've never made baby socks before. I'm thinking about a cute pattern in the Socks, Socks, Socks book. They're a cross between socks and booties, and have an interesting look to them. Very cute!

Well, I better get to work! More later. :)

Better Late Than Never ...

1. Total amount of music files on your computer? Not too many. My computer has so much other stuff on it, I deleted a lot of music files a while back to give me a little more room. My computer was running so slow, I couldn't even burn them to CD before I zapped them. Gotta love dial-up ...

2. The last CD you bought was: Salvador - Con Poder

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message? Not exactly sure. But I know the song that keeps going through my head ... "Over and Over" -- Nelly w/Tim McGraw.

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you: "18 With A Bullet" - an oldie and an old boyfriend's favorite song (still think of him and miss him and would love to talk to him again ...); "Angel Baby" - oldie version reminds me of my homies; "End of the World" - Skeeter Davis, just love that song; "Oooh Child" - olid version, can't remember who sings it, though; "Return to Innocence" - Enigma, some of my friends say they still think of me when they hear this played.

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?
(I had filled this out, but when I published the post, something ate it!!! I'll fill it out again later!)

SP 4 Questionnaire

1. Are you a yarn snob (do you prefer high- and/natural fibers)? Do you avoid Red Heart and Lion Brand? Or is it all the same to you?
I am definitely not a yarn snob. But I LOVE sock yarn!!! :)
2. Do you spin? Crochet?
I can crochet ... and cross stitch ... and do plastic canvas. But I don't do any of these anymore. I'm an exclusive knitter now!
3. Do you have any allergies? (smoke, pets, fibers, perfume, etc.)
Flowery scents seem to bother me some these days. Other than that, I'm not allergic to anything. I love musky and/or spicy scents.
4. How long have you been knitting?
I've actually known how to knit for at least 15 years, but I didn't really start knitting until fall of 2003.
5. Do you have an Amazon or other online wish list?
Not yet, but I'll keep you updated! ;)
6. What's your favorite scent? (for candles, bath products etc.)
I like musky and/or spicy scents. I also like vanilla and pumpkin.
7. Do you have a sweet tooth?
Sometimes I do ...
8. What other crafts or Do-It-Yourself things do you like to do?
As I mentioned before, I know how to do many things, but am only focusing on knitting now.
9. What kind of music do you like? Can your computer/stereo play MP3s? (if your buddy wants to make you a CD)
I usually listen to Christian and Country music. My computer can play MP3s.
10. What's your favorite color? Or--do you have a color family/season/palette you prefer?
I LOVE purple! If purple is not available, I tend to be drawn to deep colors ... navy, maroon, forest greens. I love the colors in the Mountain Colors Bearfoot colorways. Especially Thunderhead.
11. What is your family situation? Do you have any pets?
I am a single mother of two. No pets right now (just my little monkeys!)
12. What are your life dreams? (really stretching it here, I know)
I am in the process of reaching one of my goals: To have Avon has my full-time job, main income. Beginning in February I will be working out of the home only 3 days a week. (accountant's office)
13. What is/are your favorite yarn/s to knit with?
Mountain Colors Bearfoot, Wildfoote, Kroy, Interlacements
14. What fibers do you absolutely *not* like?
Does not apply. Love to try new things.
15. What is/are your current knitting obsession/s?
I would like to do a sock in entrelec! Socks are always my obsession!!!!
16. What is/are your favorite item/s to knit?
Hmmmmm .... Socks!
17. What are you knitting right now?
Would it surprise you if I said socks? :) I'm also trying my hand at the Market Squares Bag ... my first attempt at entrelec.
18. What do you think about ponchos?
They don't really turn my head.
19. Do you prefer straight or circular needles?
Circular needles.
20. Bamboo, aluminum, plastic?
Bamboo or Addi-Turbos.
21. Are you a sock knitter?
You answer this one .... :)
22. How did you learn to knit?
My dad.
23. How old is your oldest UFO?
Right now, only a month or so. I recently went through my projects and frogged anything I hadn't worked on for a while and didn't want to finish soon.
24. What is your favorite animated character or a favorite animal/bird?
Winnie-the-Pooh is my absolute hero!
25. What is your favorite holiday?
I think I enjoy all holidays!
26. Is there anything that you collect?
Monkeys & sheep. Oh, and sock patterns and yarn! :)

To LadyKnitz: Yes, I got your e-mail. Thanks so much for checking in to say "hi." I'm feeling quite well today. And I actually have a couple of hours to myself this afternoon. I'm off to do some knitting and watch a movie! Hope you have a good afternoon!