Sunday, October 08, 2006

Hurting ...

Well ... I'm hoping that by writing here sometimes ... at least once in a while ... it will help me to get some of my feelings out ... help me sort through some things ... Don't really have anyone I can just go to, ya know?

I'm just so confused about the things that have happened over the last couple months ... I'm lonely ... but I don't deserve to be treated the way I have ... I know that much ...

I've just been asking God to hold me tightly in His arms ... and I know He is ... I know He knows every tear I've cried ... and I find comfort in that ...

I just feel like I've lost my happiness, though ... don't smile, laugh like I used to ... I know that change has to start with me ... and so I've been setting some goals for myself ... and I am trying really hard to look at things positively ...

Guess I just need a little time to grieve, too ... For the things I thought were there, that weren't ... for the person I thought was there, but wasn't ... and for the part of me that let myself be fooled ... even though I knew better ...

And I did know better ... I felt the pull at my heart telling me that know matter what I felt, my head knew something wasn't right ... I just wanted it so badly ...

Someday ... when the time is right ... I hope to find someone who really cares for me, appreciates me, respects me ... loves me ...

4 comments:

LB said...

I hope you find what you're looking for too. You're a wonderful person. ((((HUGS)))) Love you!!!

The Knotty Spinster said...

You have to believe that it all will happen. You will be happy and you will get the person you are looking for. Just came out of a cheating husband relationship over and over and just took me 8 years to get out of it and I did. Now just trying to discover me...I don't think he ever thought I would do it be he was wrong. I deserve better and will get better...Take care and your dreams will happen....Rowena

The Knotty Spinster said...

You will get your dreams and wishes answered. It will happen. Took me 8 years to divorce my cheating husband and now that I have I'm finding who I really am. Things will come to you. God is always their for you. You will always be stronger because of things you go thru and that will make you the person someone will love to be with....and give you what you deserve. Take Care and my Prayers are with you. Rowena

MarlyKnits said...

Not really sure what happened in your life but be assured that God is there to hep you out in your time of need. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on feel free to drop me a line.

*Hugs*

Marly