Christmas Day '06

I am trying really hard to be happy ... to be thankful for everything I have ... And I am thankful ... for my family, my kids ... my job, my friends ...

Still ... it's been a rough month ...

My best friend in the world passed away at the age of 67 ... She was a co-worker of mine ... but she was so much more than that ... She was a mom to me ... always had good advice to give ... maybe even a scolding every now and then ... lol ... And she was my best friend ... the one I told my secrets to ... We shared so much laughter ... so many tears ... and I've remembered her since her passing ... With much laughter and tears ...

I am so thankful that the Lord allowed us to be close, to share the friendship we had ... And though I miss her ... I know she is in a better place ... and that we'll meet again someday ...

The other thing that's made this month so hard is the ups and downs of the relationship that I've been in ... It's been more than this month ... it's been going on for the past 5 months ... But now ... it may be over for good ... Not because I want it to be ... I DEFINITELY don't want it to be over ... I love him with all my heart ... But I can't make his choices for him ... All I can do is try to show him that I'm here for him ... Want to be here for him always ... Try to show him how much I love and care for him ... Respect him ... and PRAY!

But it hurts ... I want so much to be with him ... want him to be in my life forever ... by my side ... and me always by his ...

I know that everything in life happens for a reason ... and I know we don't always know what the reasons are ... I know that God has a plan for everyone, everything ... And I pray every day for the patience and the faith to keep believing ... keep moving on ... Some days it's just really hard ...

If you happen to read this ... and have a few extra minutes ... I'd appreciate any prayers you can say also ...